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Navy Seal Copypasta
Original Version What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. Communism Version What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you capitalist pig-dog? We’ll have you know we graduated top of our class in the Red Army, and We’ve been involved in every Cold War mission, and We have over 500 confirmed kills. We are trained in gorilla warfare and We’re the top Nazi killer in the entire Russian forces. You are nothing to us but just another capitalist pig-dog. We will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this glorious Russia, mark our fucking words. Do you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak We are contacting our glorious leader Stalin and any forces across Russia and your IP is now tracked right now so you better prepare for some Rush B, capitalist pig. The Rush B that wipes out the pathetic little means of production you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. We can be anywhere, anytime, and we can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with our bear hands. Not only are we extensively trained in unarmed combat, but we have access to the entire arsenal of the KGB and we will use it to its full extent to wipe your capitalist ass off the means of production, you little pig. If only you could have known what unholy capitalist bullshits of your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking money. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. We will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. Napoleon Version What the fuck did you just fucking surrender to me, you little baguette? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Royal Military School in Corsica, and I’ve won 56 battles, and I have over 100,000 confirmed kills. I am trained as a general and I’m the number 1 most victorious person in the Napoleonic War. You are nothing to me but just another slave in Great Britain. I will wipe you the fuck out with artillery of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. Do you think you can get away with saying those baguette shits to me like a coward over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret espionage who's named Karl Ludwig Schulmeister across France and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the Napoleonic tactic, coward. The Napoleonic tactic that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I am leading my armies to victory, but I have access my rights to use anything that will kill you and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little merde comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price. Soon, you will be executed with the guillotine under my rule, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.